Dear Jacob-
Christmas is coming. I remember, when you were still developing inside of me, thinking about this Christmas. I knew you would be about two months old and I wondered what you would be like. You are such a sweet and perfect angel. We gave you your Christmas present early--a baby swing. It is one sophisticated toy. It rocks back and forth or side to side. It plays fun music, peaceful music, soothing sounds like a heartbeat or whales, or hooks to my ipod for whatever music we choose! You seem to enjoy the swing, not as much as you love being held by me or daddy though. I am glad, because I love to be close to you. I can't get enough of you baby!
I took you to your eight week check-up on Tuesday. You weighed 13 lbs. 14 oz. and were 26 inches long. WOW!! You have grown and changed so much. You used to just lay in a ball, and sleep all day long. Now, you get excited about things and kick your legs and flail your arms. You smile at me all the time. You are getting so round. Your legs have 4 rolls and you have 3 chins! There are little creases all the way up your soft arm. I didn't know it was possible for me to love you even more than I did yesterday, but I do. Every day it grows as we become more familiar with each other.
Everett loves you so much. He loves to hold you and make your limbs do stuff. He grabs your little foot and makes you kick your leg. He thinks it's very funny. He is concerned about your welfare and lets me know if you are ever sad. Right now, he is telling me, "My pajamas don't fit baby Jacob." He is full of these insights. Charity is your second mommy. She loves to hold you and talk to you. She kisses you all the time. You like saying "hi" to her. I don't think you understand what it means yet, but you are great at mimicking the sound. Charity lets me know when she thinks you are tired or hungry or just want your mommy. She gets diapers or a pacifier or burp cloth for you when I need them. She is such a good helper!
You are so loved and always will be.
Love, Mommy
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Day Dreaming
Dear Jacob-
Today I was day dreaming. I dreamed of us, on a deserted island. We sat on the warm sand. You smiled and cooed as the waves rolled in. The noise was beautiful: the noise you made mingled with the sound of the gentle waves. Daddy was there too. He wrapped us in his long arms and kissed you on your perfect head. Charity flitted about like a fairy. She interrupted her play every few minutes to come over and talk softly to you. Everett said cute things that made me laugh as he searched for seashells, finding one just for you. He brought it to us, mimicking the way sister had spoken and touching your creamy white arm.
Every time I look into your true-blue eyes I am there. Back on the island, back at the beach. Just loving you. Just being a family. Bound to one another by invisible but invincible bonds. That's what you do.
Love, Mommy
Today I was day dreaming. I dreamed of us, on a deserted island. We sat on the warm sand. You smiled and cooed as the waves rolled in. The noise was beautiful: the noise you made mingled with the sound of the gentle waves. Daddy was there too. He wrapped us in his long arms and kissed you on your perfect head. Charity flitted about like a fairy. She interrupted her play every few minutes to come over and talk softly to you. Everett said cute things that made me laugh as he searched for seashells, finding one just for you. He brought it to us, mimicking the way sister had spoken and touching your creamy white arm.
Every time I look into your true-blue eyes I am there. Back on the island, back at the beach. Just loving you. Just being a family. Bound to one another by invisible but invincible bonds. That's what you do.
Love, Mommy
November 3rd, 2008
Dear Jacob-
You will be 13 days old at 1:40 p.m. today. You have grown sweeter and more precious to me with every passing moment. You have begun to make eye contact for extended periods of time. You really like looking at Mommy's hair, the family room fan, and the wrought iron pieces hanging above our bed. Your eyes are a deep, dark and beautiful blue. I'm sure they will change in some ways but I'm sure they will continue to be beautiful! You look like a blond boy version of me. That is a new experience for me as your siblings look so much like Daddy. I stare at you and wonder how in the world you started from such a tiny egg and grew to be such a big boy! How did you fit inside of me?? Sometimes, when you are really curled up tight, I can picture it, but most of the time it just blows my mind! You smile often but only in your sleep. I am not going to attempt to put my feelings for you into words because I know they will be inadequate. I love you deeply.
Love, Mommy
You will be 13 days old at 1:40 p.m. today. You have grown sweeter and more precious to me with every passing moment. You have begun to make eye contact for extended periods of time. You really like looking at Mommy's hair, the family room fan, and the wrought iron pieces hanging above our bed. Your eyes are a deep, dark and beautiful blue. I'm sure they will change in some ways but I'm sure they will continue to be beautiful! You look like a blond boy version of me. That is a new experience for me as your siblings look so much like Daddy. I stare at you and wonder how in the world you started from such a tiny egg and grew to be such a big boy! How did you fit inside of me?? Sometimes, when you are really curled up tight, I can picture it, but most of the time it just blows my mind! You smile often but only in your sleep. I am not going to attempt to put my feelings for you into words because I know they will be inadequate. I love you deeply.
Love, Mommy
October 28th, 2008
Dear Jacob-
It is difficult for me to write this letter. The magnitude of my feeling is more intense than I can express. It is so intense that I want to push it away and embrace it fully in the same moment. I want to weep and shout and sleep and jump and kiss and cuddle and love. I want to stop time and hold you forever. I wake in the morning to the most amazing and overwhelmingly joyful site I have ever seen. After a long night of forgettable dreams you are the best surprise I could hope for. You lay on your side and your plump cheeks squeeze your perfect pink lips open. Jacob, in comparison with the feeling, the words seem empty—I love you!!!
Love, Mommy
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